Archives for July 2015

Once in a Blue Moon.

truetoyourselfAs I sit under this cloudy, moonlit sky.. I’m really overwhelmed. No I mean really. Blue moons happen pretty few and far between (I think they occur something like an average of every 2.7 years or so). This year, this moon is different for me. Mostly because it has been just over 3 years since I started teaching yoga. I suppose I’m just a little more in tuned with myself. Understanding my body, my needs and knowing that No, I’m not perfect. But I’m perfectly OK with being who I am and where I am.

In June I received my Reiki 1 Certification and I have to tell you, it’s been one of my favorite, most rewarding learning experiences I have had.

I decided to lay under the sky tonight and give myself reiki. After completing the first certification it’s encouraged that we offer ourselves reiki every single day for at least the first 30 days following. Tonight has been the most intense. It was interesting because I could feel my entire body pulsating and I kept slipping in and out of this light sleep. When I would open my eyes the clouds seemed to be standing still, Almost as if I was starring at a painting. Usually I am able to focus enough to notice the movement of the sky as each cloud passes in front of the bright moon, but not tonight. Tonight was interesting. Even though every time I did open my eyes, there were different clouds, they never seemed to be going anywhere. It was a different picture every time.

I guess I just decided to take that deeper and think about it, because as a yogini I am supposed to take that to a ‘wah wah’ level and freak everybody else out with it.

Life is change. That is just going to happen. Although there are plenty of times where the word “stuck,” resonates deepest within me, life still moves on, the sky still changes, the clouds slowly sneak by even if seemingly standing still. People, things, tasks, jobs. Whether it be major or minor, there is and will always be change. It is necessary.

So tonight I sit in contemplation. Yep. What seems to be so perfect and pulled together from the outside, and although I feel pretty put together on the inside, I know there is a lot of shit that needs to be worked on. Progress. Always progress. I am just a constant work in progress, and that’s just life. I think we look at life as a series of events; A series of events that have to take place in sequential order. We go to school, we grow up with people we love and who love us back, we graduate high school and go directly to college, we live in a dorm room, we meet more amazing people, we party, we love, we eventually graduate, we get a real job. Hopefully at some point we meet and will eventually marry the man or woman of our dreams and then we will get engaged. Which is a life event posted to our facebook wall announcing to the world that we did it! This is a life goal, set by society, and we have to make sure everyone knows we’ve achieved it in the order in which we were supposed to. And yes, my diamond is one carrot. Thank GOD, I mean right? We plan our wedding via Pinterest (yes. I was married before this gem, so I had to do it pretty old school.) Nevertheless, Facebook found out about it, and HOORAY! We spent too much on a 5 hour event, but I have to say it was one of my favorite days. Immediately after that comes the house, the kids, the dogs, or the house, the dogs, the kids. Or the dogs, the kids, maybe a house. It gets a little messy here these days, but all the same the questions start flooding in. Heaven forbid you tell them you haven’t really thought about kids too much, because traveling seems to take precedence at the moment. Gasp.

2015 is fun. Because I don’t give a shit. And that seems to be #trending HA. No, I don’t work 40 hours a week, a lot of people consider my job to be less than that, maybe more like a hobby. But I like my hobby. Which is probably why it isn’t considered by many as a job. I work maybe 13 hours a week, I love on my animals, I have time to workout and care for myself, I have time and energy to give to others, and over all I feel I have a pretty solid balance happening. I feel like I was made for this. Kids, eh, I’ve been advised against it, I’ve also been told I can’t actually have children, but in the end, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, I travel and continue on with my hobbies, I continue on with life, because if I don’t, it will continue on without me.

I’ve heard more recently a lot of people exclaiming, “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” Or “I feel like life is passing me by and I haven’t done the things I’ve wanted to do.” It’s not too late, just do it already. Thankfully and with gratitude times a billion, I feel like I have been fortunate enough to do a lot of the things if not most all of the things that I have wanted to accomplish. Which really freaks me out because typically that means the end for my life is drawing near. On the other hand I feel I have a lot more to offer and a lot of other lives to reach and meet and love. So yes. This full moon signifies change, although the sky seems to be standing still. It’s caused this rant and ramble of a blog post, but change. Relax and let go of the things you cannot change, and work on the things that you can and want to change.

So I suppose all of this boils down to giant bowl of clichés; “Life is never promised. Tomorrow is never promised. So if you could do anything you wanted to do, you should really just go out and do it and stop thinking about it before life is really over. Don’t go through life saying “I should have,” or “I could have,” Go through it saying “I did,” or “I tried.” Do one thing a day that scares you, and if your goals and dreams don’t scare you, they just aren’t big enough.

Breathe a little more, allow the everyday stress to subside a little more frequently, enjoy life a lot more. You know? I’m 30. I don’t have any regrets. I really don’t. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. I don’t feel like I AM missing out on anything. I feel as though life moves at a rapid pace, even when it feels like it isn’t moving at all. So be greater, do better, live fuller. Throw out the rules, and live by the map of your own dreams. I mean really. I could make a lot of money if I went and sat at a desk somewhere, but my life would be meaningless and unfulfilling because that just doesn’t fit me or my personality. So I find myself extra grateful for the people in my life who support me (both financially and emotionally) in my dreams, my career or ‘hobby’ of choice.

Big change is happening. I’m excited. Always give a little more love, be a little more compassionate and smile often because you have no idea what’s really happening in the lives of those who surround you. Less judgment, Especially tonight, it’s a full moon, the crazies are out and this is going to definitely last another 3-4 days, so hold on. And love them anyway.

Big Love! Big Change! Be Big. And HOLD ON!