on to the next one…

powerful

 

I’m on the downhill slide in to 32 years of life on this planet and I, at the same time, am in the process of moving home. Yea, home; in with mom and dad (town next door, remember they are the reason I live in AZ…)  Life is so cyclical.  I moved in to this same house during a huge life change- moving from little TC to big city of PHX (area) back in 2005, and now 11 years and 2 months later, I’m doing it all over again.  So there has definitely been some nastalgia with it all, except dad made my room in to a man cave and so i get to take over my sisters old room. Haha! Oh man. I’m 31, right?

My Kylie sent me this little ditty, which has been circulating the interwebs for years now, but still, it’s been on repeat in my car for the past two days.

Everybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen) Listen to it.

There is a part of me that strongly believes humility is just supposed to be the theme of 2016.  I think I’m getting the hang of it.  I have been so blessed in my life.  I have been spoiled since the day I was born, which has probably made my life harder because I’m not an overachiever in any way.

Growing up my dad asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I told him I wanted to be a DJ. Listening to 106KHQ in my little hometown of Traverse City, Michigan, had inspired me.  I told him; ‘they get to go to work all day and talk and laugh and have fun with each other, it doesn’t sound like a miserable work life.  I know they don’t make a lot of money, but I would love to have that kind of fun with the rest of my life and get paid to do it. ‘ His response was “Well!  OK!  As long as you do what you love, money shouldn’t ever be your driving force.”  I remember exactly where we were when he spoke those words, we were driving down 3 mile road, we were passing Parsons road, driving over the railroad tracks and T.A.R.T. trail, nearing 31.  I can see it vividly.  This was so many years ago, I honestly couldn’t tell you how old I was, but I’d bet I was half the age I am now. (Insert wide eyed, OMG, Emoji here.)

So here I am, doing what I absolutely know- without doubt, without hesitation- that I am supposed to be doing.  I am teaching yoga and loving every second of it.  I’m divorced, I am poor, I am moving home with mom and dad, and with all of this, I am THE happiest I have been in the longest time.

I was married to a really wonderful man, we built and owned some amazing homes, we drove beautiful cars, we have two perfect dogs, we traveled ALL of the time, and i am here, without any of the familiar life I once knew, Happier than I have been in such a long time.  Life is just absolutely…_______(I have no words).

How lucky am I to have two parents who are willing to open their home up to me after 11 years of living out of the ‘nest.’   As I was driving to my parents’ house yesterday; after teaching yoga to 80 yogis and yoginis (heart on fire), brunch with family, 2 hours of beach volleyball at 1:30 in the afternoon on a sunny Arizona Summer day (seriously- the one sport I had no desire to EVER play, EVER in my life- has come back to bite me in the ass), and then running home a sweaty mess to pack up half of my stuff to haul to mom and dads, Kylie sent me ‘everybody’s free.’  And I listened to it; over and over and over again.  And in that time I  realized: now is the time to spend with them.  I want to enjoy my time with them before I don’t have the opportunity to do so.  I’m not ashamed to be moving home.  Am I worried I’ll lose my mind at some point??- you betcha! But, I am more grateful and more humbled now than ever before.  I could stay with Kylie and Ryan for forever- or until they choose to kick me out, but they have a life to live too.  Even though I would prefer my life be lived intertwined with theirs for forever (really! they are two of my top favorites in all the land), I know it’s time to move forward.  You two have saved me, in so many ways.  I am forever in debt to you.

So on to Part 3 of my 2016 chapter book. It’s been a whirlwind, but it has been something incredible.  The people who have shown up for me, the support I have had, it’s all just straight out of a fairytale.  I am grateful.

Today I woke up more tired than I have been in such a long time.  Which means I slept better than I have in SUCH a long time.  With all of that, Kylie managed to drag my butt out of bed and we went to get our sweat on at OTF.  I was sore, hungry, tired and all I wanted to do was complain about it. I could not find my giddy-up, I powered through with only the urge to sleep.  OUr trainer pushed us in sprint rows, we lifted and with my eyes half open, we survived.

From there I taught a couple of classes, received love from students who I adore, really adore, was asked out on a lunch date ( eye roll emoji) and was then invited over for lunch with mom at her house, where I spent my afternoon before heading in to work. I am tired, but I Have no room to complain.

I had in my head on repeat (as I was fighting the Bs urge to sleep and complain) “Now is the time to find gratitude, now be grateful. Don’t succumb to that crap your mind is creating, it’s easy to be negative.  Just be grateful.”  So, mom bought me chocolate, I ate most of it and we went swimming. I should write some self-help books.. ‘just write down some things you are grateful for and binge on chocolate.  You’ll be solid.’  holy moly.  Although- it works for me.

Anyway. Today,  I am grateful.  I am poor, I am moving home to be with mom and dad-where I can swim any time I want, where I will be close to my running girls again (where it all started) and I will love every minute of it, because, well,  dad likes chocolate too.  Life is good.  Keep it comin’ 2016.

SIDE NOTE: Mercury goes in to retrograde tomorrow:  Miscommunication, technological breakdown etc. etc.  So hold steady and strong, take some yoga classes and keep drama to a minimum.  If you don’t believe in this, I don’t care, but check in with yourself if you become irritable, because it’s NO JOKE.  Check in with j-Ma Jordan for more on this goodness.  Try to keep it together, K?  If you feel like everything is falling apart.. well, that feeling should remain through the end of September.  HEREEEEE we go!

Oh and as far as the KETO diet goes= I’m still chugging along.  A lot of chocolate as of late, but I’m sticking to it 😉 I’m not perfect, but I’m working on being better 🙂

Thank you for your love and continued support and hugs and chocolate donations. I have the most wonderful people and I can’t give you enough of me in return.  Thank you thank you thank you.

be grateful during the shitty days.  Really. It’ll change everything.  Don’t be a victim to your past, grow from it.  enjoy the people who lift you, because you don’t know when they’ll be gone.  Every day wake with the intent of being better than you were yesterday.  Only YOU have control over you, So be the best version of you that you can be.  The world needs that.  Spend more time lifting each other up rather than competing with everyone around you, rather than cutting others down at the knees.  If you catch yourself doing this- look inward and note these just may be reflections of how you feel about yourself.  Let that shit go.  Do more yoga, meditate, breathe deeper and love more fully.   Life is short, take nothing for granted, take everything, love every day, in gratitude and eat your favorite food. A lot. (I mean maybe avoid binge eating- but don’t deprive yourself of the happy. Ok?) drink less alcohol- your body will thank you.  Workout often- sweat once a day; sweating is a way to not only detox physically, but also emotionally.  Find balance in all that you do.  And lastly, and in summary- do unto others as you would have them do unto you. #GoldenRule

 

gold is my color.

 

I love you

 

 

 

happy thoughts beam

 

Here are some highlights from my trip with my best in the Rockies.  I love Colorado, I love my Sar.

side plank mountains

collage sar and iOh I love to travel.  That’s going to stay.

 

A weekend at Camelback Inn for our Dre’s BirthDAY

dre
32 and a baby on the way! <3

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